As Yana Tallon-Hicks mentions in the article, “Truly pleasurable sex — regardless of your identity — starts with a sense of safety, clear communication, confident boundaries, active listening skills, and self-awareness.” The web resource Autostraddle has created a checklist designed to foster conversation about the kind of pleasurable sex that Tallon-Hicks describes.
Create a fictional dialogue centered around introducing this checklist. Don’t forget to include a focus on fictional responses, as well. What does this dialogue look like? What are the challenges or boundaries that ought to be addressed? How prepared or comfortable would you feel incorporating this checklist into an actual conversation with your new hookup or long-term partner?
Supplemental discussion questions:
What ideas introduced in Yana Tallon-Hicks’ Teen Vogue article surprised you or made you rethink preconceived notions about queer sex and relationships? What do you think the role of faculty or staff ought to be in regard to campus curriculum or resources regarding sexual pleasure and sexual safety?
Download Checklist Below
How to Have Sex if You're Queer: What to Know About Protection, Consent, and What Queer Sex Means
•In 2015, only 12% of self-identified millennials surveyed said that their sex education classes covered LGBTQIA+ relationships
•Fewer than 5% of LGBTQIA+ students who responded to a GLSEN National School Climate Survey said they had health classes that included positive representation
•The focus of sexual desire exists on a continuum.
•“Having sex” can mean different things to different people — from making out, or non-genital interaction to orgasmic engagement or penetrative experience. This is especially true when it comes to one’s sexual debut — an inclusive term that looks beyond the heteronormative definition of what it means to “lose your virginity.”
•Transgender people on hormone replacement are still vulnerable to getting pregnant or impregnating. Condoms or other birth control methods are still crucial to prevent unplanned pregnancies.